Sleepovers, Slytherins, and Seafood
by Faelinn
Summary: The fighting between the Slytherins and the Gryffindors convinces Dumbledore to force the two houses to live together in Gryffindor Tower. It doesn't take the students long to discover that their enemies are not just annoying, but really, really strange.
1. Octopus, Crabs, and Birds

A/N: Okay, this is just weirdness. Note to self: no more sugar or caffeine. Eventual slash, so watch out. WIP All reviewers are my favorite people, so please review. Please! I'm begging! Also, this is the revised edition. I had a huge error in it and had to fix it. Sorry!

"I feel kind of bad about biting its head off," Pansy admitted.  
  
"Hmm," Draco said non-commitedly.  
  
Pansy poked at the small, headless octopus, pushing it around the plate. Its small tentacles stuck up in the air, protruding from the bitten- off stump of its body. Blaise Zabini moved to take a closer look, staring at the small suction cups on its appendages.  
  
"I mean, it's just a baby," Pansy continued.  
  
"It's hard to eat something that looks so...alive," Blaise muttered.  
  
Pansy nodded her agreement and picked up the small, mutilated creature.  
  
"Yeah. I'm gonna bury it."  
  
Draco looked up from the menu, disgusted, and shook his head irritably.  
  
"You're going to bury it?! Freak," he said scathingly, but, still with a tinge of affection.  
  
Pansy glared at him and protectively cupped the remains of her dinner in her hands.  
  
"But it's just a baby," she cried.  
  
"It was dead before you ate it. Stop feeling bad," Draco ordered imperiously.  
  
Blaise and Pansy looked at each other and, then at the octopus.  
  
"Yeah, but if we didn't eat them, they wouldn't be killed," Blaise said.  
  
"And the world would be ruled by baby octopus, and, you know, they would certainly eat our babies. And they wouldn't bury them," Draco cried dramatically, attracting the notice of a few other patrons of the restaurant.  
  
"I'm still burying it," she said with determination.  
  
Crabbe and Goyle looked up from their quickly emptying plates and joined in the conversation, much to Draco's annoyance.  
  
"Where?" Crabbe asked.  
  
Pansy thought for a few moments and glanced at Blaise for help. He shrugged.  
  
"Umm....I guess under the crab's shell in the soup bowl," she said hesitantly.  
  
Draco looked at them both, then down at the octopus, and blinked.  
  
"You're going to bury it under the remains of another dead sea creature? Of course, makes perfect sense," he said dryly.  
  
"Oh, shut up," Pansy said affectionately.  
  
She dug in the cracked remnants of the crab's shell, hollowing out a resting place for the small octopus. Placing it down carefully, she began covering it with the slivers and fragments of shell, until it was completely invisible.  
  
"Go ahead, Pansy. Hide your secret shame,"Draco said mockingly.  
  
She looked at him blankly as she patted the loose covering into place.  
  
"What are you talking about, Draco?" she asked impatiently.  
  
"You know what I mean, you octopus killer," he whispered, his eyes alight with laughter.  
  
She began to laugh helplessly, hiding her face in her cupped hands.  
  
"Octopus killer, octopus killer," Draco began to chant maliciously.  
  
Crabbe and Goyle quickly followed their leader's example, and, soon, the whole table of Slytherins was chanting in creepy little whispers. The whole restaurant was looking at them openly now, and, the manager appeared to be slightly peeved.  
  
"Shut up, before we get in trouble!" Pansy urged, her face red from laughter.  
  
Draco waved his hand, shushing his followers. He smiled coldly at the watching manager, who merely scowled in return.  
  
"What a bastard," he remarked casually.  
  
"Nice, Draco," Blaise murmured sarcastically.  
  
The table became silent for a moment, and, Draco began to idly dig through the crab's remains with his fork.  
  
"I hate crabs. Terrible creatures," he ruminated.  
  
Blaise stared at him blankly, and shook his head in wonderment. His black hair fell in his face as he did, concealing his eyes.  
  
"And what is behind this particular unreasoning prejudice?" he managed to ask.  
  
Draco looked up from his perusal of the crab, his face a perfect mask of indignation. He glared furiously at his giggling friends.  
  
"Hey! I have a perfectly good reason," he protested.  
  
Pansy rolled her eyes in obvious disbelief. Her face was still flushed from her earlier hysterics, giving her face a healthy, glowing look.  
  
"Like the reason you hate cockatiels? What was it again? Oh, yeah, they look at you funny," she said derisively.  
  
Draco glanced away, carefully not looking at any of his companions.  
  
"That's not the only reason. I don't like their feathers. Trying to make themselves look prettier than..." he began, but quickly stopped.  
  
"Prettier than? Please, do go on, Draco," Pansy encouraged in a sickly sweet tone.  
  
"Oh, fine. Trying to make themselves prettier than me," he admitted grudgingly.  
  
Draco shot a petulant look at Blaise as the other boy hastily choked the laugh trying to escape his throat.  
  
"That's ridiculous," Pansy said bluntly.  
  
"And they call me 'pretty boy'" Draco added.  
  
"All of them?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I didn't know all cockateils were blind," Pansy said innocently.  
  
Draco glared and threw a piece of bread at her, which she deftly managed to avoid. However, it hit Theodore Nott right in the face. The skinny boy just placed it on a plate, and went back to watching the conversation.  
  
"Shut up, O Insignificant One. I hope you know I am more than pleasant to look at. I'm actually quite gorgeous," he answered haughtily.  
  
"Well, you don't have to look at yourself all day," she spat back bitingly.  
  
"I'd like to."  
  
"You're sick."  
  
Silence.  
  
"Now, about the crabs?" Blaise reminded gently.  
  
"Oh, yeah. Terrible bloody creatures."  
  
"And, again, why?" Pansy asked with an irritated sigh.  
  
"Well, they make me perform manual labor."  
  
"What? You blame them for....I'm confused."  
  
"You're always confused, Pansy."  
  
"Manual labor? How do they make you do that?"  
  
"You have to crack their shells open, don't you? I call that labor."  
  
"That's just sad. What, do you want them to shell themselves?"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"Sad."

"Where are all the Slytherins?" Harry asked curiously, glancing at the empty tables across from them.  
  
"Having an orgy in the dungeon," Dean said calmly.  
  
"What?!" Harry gasped.  
  
Hermione glanced up from her book, and patted his hand reassuringly.  
  
"Don't worry, Harry. They're not doing any such thing," she murmured then returned to her reading.  
  
Harry looked at Ron helplessly.  
  
"Some sort of celebration thingie," Ron supplied helpfully.  
  
"Oh," Harry said, and became silent.  
  
Ron looked at his two friends, one absorbed in thoughts and the other in a book. Neither spoke. Sighing softly, he munched idly on a pastry. Eventually, someone would have to speak, he figured. As he ate, Hermione slowly turned the page, her eyes never leaving the printed words. She had that slack-faced, trance-like look she always got when she was reading something particularly interesting. She was usually lost to the world when she was like that and useless for several hours. He turned his attention to Harry, who was staring raptly at nothing.  
  
"So, uh, Harry, are you excited about the new Quidditch season?" he asked hopefully.  
  
"Yeah," Harry replied listlessly, oblivious to his friend's words.  
  
Ron gave them both up as lost causes and looked for other sources of amusement. The only remaining Gryffindors were Neville and Dean, and, neither of them seemed interested in striking up a conversation.  
  
"What sort of celebration?" Harry asked out of the blue.  
  
Ron was confused for a moment, but quickly remembered the missing Slytherins, obviously the source of Harry's preoccupation.  
  
"I'm surprised you haven't heard. It's all they've talked about since school started," Ron said.  
  
"It's only been a week," Harry said with a shrug.  
  
"Well, Malfoy organized it all. I think they're going to some seafood restaurant."  
  
"How'd they get permission from the teachers? I mean, especially now, with Voldemort and....everything," Harry asked.  
  
Ron cringed slightly at the name, but answered.  
  
"I'm not sure. I think they had to get all sorts of permission slips and have their parents check them out and everything. Snape was all for it, so that probably helped," Ron said.  
  
Harry looked down at the table, his brow slightly furrowed in thought. This time, the pause was shorter, and, he quickly spoke again.  
  
"What are they celebrating?" he asked.  
  
Ron began to answer, but stopped. After a few seconds, he shrugged.  
  
"I don't think they ever actually said."  
  
"What could the Slytherins be so excited about?" Harry thought aloud.  
  
Hermione hissed impatiently and looked up from her book.  
  
"What else?! Voldemort's return, of course," she snapped.  
  
The two boys jumped as she spoke, shocked by her sudden contribution to a conversation they hadn't thought she had heard. Harry's eyes darkened as her words sunk in.  
  
"Are you sure?" he asked.  
  
"Well, I didn't hear it from their own mouths, but really. What else could it be?"  
  
Ron nodded harshly in agreement, his anger radiating from him in waves.  
  
"How could Snape let them celebrate something like that?" he snarled.  
  
Hermione pursed her lips thoughtfully and gazed over at the staff tables. Snape was not present, but, he often took his meals in the privacy of his rooms.  
  
"I'm not sure...," she murmured.  
  
Ron stood up and stretched.  
  
"Let's go to the common room. We can talk about it there," he said.  
  
Harry nodded and followed his friend's example. Hermione sat still for a few more moments, caught up in her thoughts. Ron tapped her lightly on the shoulder, and, with a smile, she followed them upstairs.

The Slytherins were laughing as they stumbled down into the dark dungeons. Their familiarity with the halls kept them from harming themselves, though occasionally someone stumbled. The few candles decorating the walls were faint and dim, barely giving enough light to see by. Draco scowled slightly.  
  
"Lumos."  
  
A glowing light appeared before him, and, he smiled, pleased.  
  
"We really need to get better lighting down here," Blaise commented.  
  
"If you weren't out so late, you wouldn't need it," a stern, angry voice admonished.  
  
Swallowing nervously, he turned around to see the dark outline of a man.  
  
"Professor Snape," Draco said unnecessarily.  
  
"Well?" Snape said impatiently.  
  
"I'm sorry, sir. We lost track of the time," he apologized.  
  
Snape nodded tightly and motioned for them to go to their rooms. As they headed toward the entrance, he reached out a hand and stopped Draco. As soon as the door closed behind the students, he turned to Draco.  
  
"Did the evening go well?" he asked.  
  
Draco smiled, knowing the man couldn't see it in the dark. It was always nice when the aloof professor expressed an interest in his students' well- being.  
  
"Yes, sir. It was brilliant," he answered enthusiastically.  
  
"Good to know. You can tell me more about it later if you wish. Now, get to bed," Snape said with his usual lack of inflection.  
  
In the fading light, Draco thought he saw a smile on the man's face. Then again, it might just be a trick of the light. He hurried through the doorway, unwilling to risk Snape's anger. When he was safely behind it, he saw the other students sitting in front of the fire in the common room, waiting for news.  
  
"He's not angry," he assured them.  
  
There were a few exhaled breaths and sighs of relief before the room became silent again. Draco paused for effect. After a few seconds, he smiled.  
  
"And he says to get your sorry arses into bed," he said sweetly.  
  
Pansy threw a pillow at him, knocking him backwards against the door with a thud. He glared, grabbed up the offending article, and tossed it at her. After a few minutes, it was a House-wide battle.

Outside the door, Severus Snape listened to the sounds of the ongoing pillow fight. He had known it was pointless to tell them to go to bed, but, he had had to try. Of course, he could always go in and yell at them, but, tonight, it just didn't feel right. Shaking his head ruefully, he moved away from the door and down the dark hallway. As he passed the few remaining candles and lamps, he extinguished them with a wave of his wand. In the now almost complete darkness, he was nearly invisible.  
  
He headed up the long flight of stairs, climbing until he reached the level he wanted. He looked at the ancient griffin statue guarding the entrance to the headmaster's quarters and scowled. The newest, idiotic password had slipped his mind. He mentally ran through a list of Dumbledore's favorite sweets and tried to figure out which ones he hadn't used yet. He thought the current password had been a Muggle sweet, something minty.  
  
"Altoids," he offered.  
  
Surprisingly, the entrance opened and he quickly stepped into the narrow stairwell. As he glanced up, he saw Dumbledore smiling down at him benignly. Snape muttered a particularly vicious curse and climbed up to meet him.  
  
"I was worried you had forgotten the password," Dumbledore said with a smile.  
  
"I have a perfect memory," Snape answered with a perfectly straight face.  
  
Dumbledore raised an eyebrow, but did not pursue the matter further. He stepped into his office, moving to the side to let Snape pass. As soon as Snape had entered, he moved to his desk and motioned for the professor to have a seat.  
  
"Sit, Severus, I'm sure you're tired," Dumbledore encouraged.  
  
"I'm nothing of the sort," Snape protested, but sat down.  
  
Dumbledore looked at the other man closely, noting the dark circles under his eyes, the paler than normal cast of his skin.  
  
"I suppose the students are back, then?" Dumbledore asked.  
  
Snape nodded slowly without looking up.  
  
"And?"  
  
"It went well," Snape snarled impatiently.  
  
"Severus, relax," Dumbledore ordered.  
  
The dark-haired man slumped into the chair, his head drooping wearily. When he glanced up at the headmaster, his face was drawn with exhaustion and stress. Dumbledore reached over and patted his hand reassuringly.  
  
"We have to do something about them," Snape muttered.  
  
Dumbledore nodded his agreement.  
  
"They're no different than the other students. But, they're ostracized," hissed Snape.  
  
Dumbledore looked at the tired, angry man, who already had too much to deal with. He stood up and walked over to the other side of the desk. Snape stood, too, and, Dumbledore placed a comforting hand around his shoulders.  
  
"Something has to be done, Severus. I know that, and, I think I have an idea as to what. But now, you need to get some sleep. We'll talk more in the morning," Dumbledore said gently.  
  
Snape nodded curtly and turned to leave. He paused at the doorway as Dumbledore spoke again.  
  
"Oh, and, Severus? Go get something to eat," he added.  
  
Snape muttered a parting curse and stalked out of the room. Dumbledore moved back to his desk, his mind lost deep in thought.

Harry stared into the flickering flames, the light reflecting in his green eyes. Most of his face was bathed in shadow, which concealed the expression on his face. It made it more difficult to know what he was thinking, what was going on behind his usually expressive face. His odd silences were worrying Hermione, and, she wasn't quite sure what to say. The three friends had been up in the common room for hours, arguing over what the Slytherins were plotting, and agreeing on nothing. It was beginning to wear on even Hermione's nerves, and, she was swiftly becoming more irritable. It didn't help that Harry had chosen to withdraw into himself, and completely forget about his friends seated beside him.  
  
She felt a warm hand on her shoulder, and looked over at Ron. He smiled sweetly and squeezed her arm. It wasn't much, but, it comforted her. She smiled back.  
  
"I wonder if one of the teachers would tell us something," Ron said.  
  
"I doubt it."  
  
"I'm not even sure that it's any of our business," Harry said quietly.  
  
Hermione stared at him, shocked. She didn't necessarily disagree,but, for Harry to be so reasonable was unusual to say the least.  
  
"Are you joking?! I mean, they could be plotting some evil crime against us!"Ron protested.  
  
"I don't know, Ron. It seems rather unlikely," Hermione said.  
  
Ron glared at them furiously, and, his ears began to turn a bright red.  
  
"I can't believe this. After what they did last year..."  
  
"Well, they haven't tried anything this year," Hermione admonished firmly.  
  
"Not yet!"  
  
Harry sighed and ran a hand through his messy black hair. Leaning back against the armchair, he wearily rubbed his eyes.  
  
"We'll just have to watch them. If they're up to something, we'll know soon enough. Malfoy's not that good at keeping secrets," he said.  
  
"Yeah, he likes to gloat and brag too much," Hermione agreed.  
  
Ron sulked for a few seconds, but nodded grudgingly. His face began to return to its normal coloring, losing the red flush of anger.  
  
"Right now, we're just jumping at shadows," Hermione murmured and patted his hand.

The four professors waited impatiently in the small, cramped room. They had been summoned in the early hours of the morning to the headmaster's office, and, sleep still ringed the eyes of Professor Sprout and Professor Flitwick. In sharp contrast, Snape and McGonagall were wide awake and alert, though neither had received more than a few hours of rest.  
  
Several minutes after they had all arrived, Professor Dumbledore stepped into the room with a smile. Even at this early hour, he was cheerful. Snape thought it must be the sugar he constantly consumed. Whatever caused it, his unsightly happiness was terribly annoying to the irritable professors.  
  
"So good to see all of you. I trust you all had a good night's rest?"  
  
A few half-hearted mumbles were the only answers he got. Still smiling brightly, he took a seat.  
  
"What's this all about?" Snape snapped with his usual ill-temper.  
  
Dumbledore glanced around, shrugged, and began to speak.  
  
"The Slytherins and the Gryffindors, mostly, but, the rest of you will be involved as well."  
  
There were a few curious faces at this, but, no one decided to speak.  
  
"As you have all noticed, there is a certain degree of animosity between the houses," he paused.  
  
"Slytherins and Gryffindors, we know," Snape said impatiently.  
  
"Yep. They hate each other," Sprout added.  
  
McGonagall cleared her throat to silence them. Snape shot her a glare, but subsided.  
  
"Indeed. Anyways, I've been entertaining an idea that might force the different Houses to at least respect each other."  
  
"Fat chance," Flitwick murmured.  
  
"This rivalry's been going on for years. What could possibly make them capable of even standing each other?" Sprout asked.  
  
Dumbledore smiled, the sort of smile that always made Snape cringe. It was the one he used when he had one of his brilliant, idiotic plans.  
  
"Living together in the same dormitory."  
  
The room immediately erupted into pandemonium as everyone began to speak at once.

A/N: Yes, just plain weird. I should be locked away. And, once more, please review. It makes me a very happy person.


	2. Coffee, Orange Juice, and Hair Spray

Disclaimer: I don't own them.

Warnings: Eventual slash, silliness.

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed. You guys are now my precious ones, who I shall love for forever and eternity. Well, as long as you keep reviewing, that is. Lol. Love ya!  
  
Kathryn Black: Hey, glad you enjoyed and thanks so much for reviewing my other story, too. Made my world a happy place, you did.

Kt: Lol. Thanks a bunch. Please keep reviewing! You increase my self- esteem!

Lady-Lillikens: Ah, yes, my fellow insane person. I revel in insanity! I was hoping the octopus thing wouldn't be too stupid.

Voyd: Squee! So happy you enjoyed!

Sheree: I love people who call me brilliant! Yeah, I get really tired of seeing the Slytherins made to be pure evil, too.

Rena Lupin: Here is more, and, I think I updated pretty quickly. Joy! I'm desperate for you lovely people's reviews!

Moonymagnificent: I'm so pleased that you liked the beginning. Hopefully, this part won't disappoint you.

Zina: I'm a girl. Sorry if I didn't make that clear. Love this part, too! Please!

Tega: Huzzah! Someone doesn't think I need to be locked up. Updating from a psychiatric hospital would be difficult, indeed.

Sapphire-wolf: I love Draco, too! It's why I make his life so crappy! I'm so glad your friend liked it, too. I'll explain why they're celebrating in due time. Just keep reading! Any preferences on who you want Blaise to be with? I'm open to suggestions.  
  
Anywho, this chapter's probably a bit more serious. Sorry, I'm out of sugar and caffeine. Hope you like it anyway. Review, my darlings, review! Also, this is the revised edition! I messed up Harry's hair color. Ach, stupid me! Sorry, people!   
  
"What are you putting in there?" Blaise cried, disgusted.  
Draco looked up innocently as he poured the orange juice into his coffee.  
"Orange juice."  
"I can see that, but why?!"  
"I don't like orange juice."  
"That makes no sense, whatsoever."  
"Yes, it does. The coffee masks the orange juice's flavor."  
"That's gross."  
Draco studiously ignored him and pressed the coffee mug to his face, inhaling deeply.  
"Good coffee, precious coffee," Draco began murmuring.  
Pansy walked up to the table, yawning wearily. She glanced at Draco as he kissed the mug.  
"What's he doing?" she asked Blaise, staring at Draco and his strange antics.  
"Making love to his coffee."  
"Again?"  
Blaise nodded morosely and poked at his toast as Pansy sat down beside him. The Great Hall was nearly full of disgruntled students, a strange occurrence for such an early hour. The entire school had been summoned to hear some sort of announcement, but, no one was that curious. Most were too tired to even keep their heads up, and were taking a much- needed nap on the table.  
Draco grimaced as he took a sip of his coffee, his nose wrinkling at the taste. He forced himself to swallow, then quickly grabbed Blaise's cup. He indelicately gulped down the steaming liquid as he tried to rid his mouth of the sickly aftertaste.  
"Hey, give that back!" Blaise cried and snatched the cup from the pale boy's shaking hands.  
"Oh, no," Pansy muttered.  
Draco let out a hoarse shriek and dived for the mug. He grabbed the handle and tried to tug it from Blaise. When the other boy held tight, he sank his nails in deep. Blaise released the cup with a muttered curse and rubbed his injured hand. Pansy just slowly shook her head, not at all surprised by the outcome.  
"You should know better than to touch his coffee," she admonished.  
"It's not his!" Blaise protested.  
"It is now," Draco smugly retorted.  
Blaise sighed, but let the subject drop. He retrieved the half-empty glass of orange juice and took a sip. It wasn't coffee, but, he knew it would have to do. Beside him, Draco began to pour all sorts of cream and sugar into his new cup of coffee. After a liberal dose of milk, he took a sip, smiling beatifically the whole time.  
"Coffee is beautiful," he sighed.  
Pansy glanced at the hot liquid, her lip curling slightly.  
"It's brown."  
"So?"  
"Draco, you, yourself, said that, and, I quote, 'brown is a disgusting, terrible, nasty color that should never see the light of day, but remain hidden in the dark at the bottom of a hole in a cave in the frozen depths of Antarctica.'"  
Draco blinked and looked down at the coffee. However, his face quickly brightened as his memory kicked in.  
"Oh. Well, that's only because I was talking about Potter's hair, which is dreadful."  
"Because it's brown," she pointed out.  
Draco thought for a moment, but shook his head.  
"No, because it's on Potter's head."  
"So if he wore one of your hats, would you call the hat ugly?"  
"Pansy, I'm shocked. You know very well I don't like hats. They mess up my lovely hair," Draco exclaimed in horror.  
"You wear 'em when it's snowing," Crabbe said slowly.  
"Well, that's different. Then, I wear them to protect my delicate ears."  
"Your ears are delicate?" Blaise exclaimed with a laugh.  
Draco pouted and tenderly covered his ears.  
"Why, yes. They are quite terribly fragile."  
"You mean weak?" Pansy questioned.  
"Not my ears! They are very strong, manly ears!" he cried in indignation.  
"But, fragile? Strong, fragile, manly ears?"  
"Yes, you have a problem with that?" Draco asked, but turned back to his coffee before she could answer.  
"It seems a bit contradictory," she said.  
Draco glared up at her after taking a sip of coffee.  
"Why are you still talking?"  
"Ever heard of freedom of speech?" Pansy snarled.  
"No!"  
"Ah, yes, I forgot. It goes against your religion, which involves worshipping your hair, if I remember correctly," she said derisively.  
Draco raised his eyebrows in a contrived expression of horror and astonishment.  
"What? Are you ridiculing my beliefs?" he exclaimed.  
"No, never!" she replied innocently.  
Draco looked at her suspiciously and poked her on the shoulder.  
"Hmm. I don't believe you."  
"That's 'cause you're paranoid, Draco," Blaise said.  
"You're making fun of my mental instability?! What next, my hair?"  
"Ah, no, we have something far eviler planned," Pansy replied with a cruel smile.  
She looked meaningfully at his nearly empty coffee cup.  
"You shall not threaten the coffee!" Draco cried.  
She just continued smiling. Blaise looked at them both and shook his head.  
"You know, we get off-topic very easily," he pointed out.  
"Hmm. You may have a point there," Draco admitted.  
He drained the last dregs of his coffee and glanced back up.  
"You know, Potter's hair isn't even brown," he informed them.  
"It isn't?!" Pansy asked, surprised.  
"Nope. It's black."  
"Hmm. I can't believe I never noticed," she mused.  
"Well, looking at him does permanently scar your eyes," he reminded her.  
Quiet began to spread across the crowded hall, and, the Slytherins glanced up to see Dumbledore preparing to speak.  
"Finally."  
The headmaster cleared his throat loudly and paused as everyone fell silent. Smiling benevolently, he began to speak.  
"As I am sure many of you know, Hogwarts has long had a history of fighting between the Houses."  
"That's a bit of an understatement," Blaise muttered.  
"Yeah, it's more like all out war," Draco agreed.  
They both fell silent as Dumbledore began to speak again.  
"In the past, we have done nothing to end these senseless disputes, but, now, the time for overlooking such things is gone."  
The color began to drain out of Draco's face, though there wasn't much there to begin with.  
"Oh, no," he whispered.  
"What the hell is he going to do?"  
"To help encourage camaraderie between the students of different Houses, several years of each House shall act as exchange students," Dumbledore said, glancing meaningfully at the Slytherin table.  
"Exchange?" Crabbe said.  
"What does it mean, Draco?" Millicent Bulstrode asked apprehensively.  
"I think...he's going to make us live with another House," he whispered in horror.  
All around the hall, whispers could be heard as people tried to figure out what the old man meant. Several people were beginning to look ill as the words sunk in.  
"The sixth year Slytherins will reside in Gryffindor Tower, and the sixth year Hufflepuffs will go to Ravenclaw. The fourth year Gryffindors will go to Hufflepuff, and the fourth year Ravenclaws will go to Slytherin."  
"No, no, no..." Draco began murmuring.  
"It's too wrong," Pansy said, her face full of shock.  
"That man is evil! Evil, I tell you!" Draco cried.  
All the students had begun speaking, creating an enormous clamor. Dumbledore raised a hand, and motioned them to silence. The noise didn't cease completely, but moved back down to a controllable level.  
"These changes will become effective immediately. Teachers will be present to assist you in moving into your new quarters, and answer any questions you may have," Dumbledore finished and returned to his seat, completely oblivious to the rising noise.  
"We'll be infected! Infected!" Draco was wailing.  
"He's really quite distraught, isn't he?" Millicent asked Pansy.  
"Can you blame him? He's going to have to sleep in the same room as Potter."  
"Oh. That sucks."  
"We have to live with Granger."  
"That sucks, too."  
"I think it's safe to say that this all sucks," Blaise said.  
"Maybe, we should have a mass suicide," Draco suggested.  
This was met by a few blank stares, but , also, several approving nods.  
"It's a possibility," Pansy admitted.  
Blaise lightly shoved her, and shook his head in mock disapproval. She grinned sheepishly, and shrugged.  
"Ok, I'm desperate," she admitted.  
"There's got to be a way out of this."  
"How about a signed doctor's excuse saying I'm allergic to Gryffindors?" Draco said.  
"I don't think they'll buy it."  
"But, they make me sick!"  
Pansy patted him reassuringly, but, he continued to sulk.  
  
"What?" Harry said, dumbstruck.  
"He's kidding, right?" Ron asked, swallowing nervously.  
"I don't know. He looks pretty serious."  
"That's insane!" Seamus raved.  
"That would be the word for it," Harry agreed.  
"I mean, really, they'll kill us in our sleep."  
Hermione shook her head, practically radiating disapproval.  
"Now, Ron, they wouldn't kill you."  
The worried redhead began to turn a somewhat vivid shade of green, that was rather similar to the color of his face after the slug incident.  
"Yeah, you're right. They'll kidnap us and sell us to Voldemort," he gasped.  
"They might even wrap us up in ribbon," Harry added.  
"Put a little card on..."  
"Have us delivered right to him."  
"You guys are being stupid," she snapped.  
She looked around the table for support, but, most of the other students were favoring Ron's side of the argument.  
"I don't think so, Hermione. I mean, look at them, they're evil!" Ron protested.  
They all looked over to the Slytherin table for a second. Harry quickly spotted Malfoy, and, his mouth dropped open in surprise.  
"Is Malfoy crying?" he asked.  
The pale boy had his face hidden in his hands and was being comforted by Pansy Parkinson. After a minute, he looked up at the Gryffindors, his face a perfect mask of hatred and fury.  
"Well, at least, we know they don't like it any better than us," Hermione said, flinching slightly at the Slytherin's angry glare.  
Ron shook his head wildly, his eyes growing frantic.  
"That's not a good thing. It means they'll kill us faster so they can have our dormitory to themselves," he cried.  
Hermione merely rolled her eyes and went back to eating her breakfast. The boys stared at her, surprised by her calm demeanor.  
"Doesn't it bother you?" Harry asked.  
She looked up after taking a bite of her toast. After a few thoughtful moments, she answered.  
"Yeah, but...We can't do anything about it, Harry. Even if we could, I...I'm not sure this is a bad thing. Don't you remember what the Sorting Hat said? About Hogwarts needing to unite?"  
Harry nodded slowly, thinking back on the words. When he looked at her again, his face was more relaxed, the stress lines fading back into the background.  
"You're right, 'Mione. We should at least give it a chance, no matter how much the idea appalls us."  
"You've both gone mad," Ron muttered.  
  
"How are the students taking it?" Professor McGonagall asked.  
Her face was weary and haggard even though the day had just begun. Beside her, Severus Snape looked equally tired, though he was more angry than anything else. His current mood showed quite plainly on his face, a warning sign for all who dared approach him.  
"I stopped their attempted suicide. Other than that, they're doing quite well," he said sarcastically.  
"What?!"  
"Mr. Malfoy's idea," he added wryly.  
McGonagall stared at him and wondered if he was joking. He was obviously quite irritable, so she decided to just drop the subject.  
"Are you watching what they pack?" she asked hesitantly.  
"You mean keeping them from taking weapons to kill your precious Gryffindors? Of course," he snarled.  
"I didn't mean it like that," she protested.  
"Yes, you did. You're no better than the rest of them."  
"Severus..." she said in a calming voice.  
"Stop it," he snapped.  
She glared at him, her lips tightening with irritation.  
"You know, it's this sort of attitude that makes people hate the Slytherins."  
"And it's the Gryffindors' nosiness that makes us want you all dead," he retorted nastily.  
"Severus, do not speak to Minerva that way. She has done nothing wrong," Dumbledore said gently as he entered the room.  
They both glanced up guiltily, ashamed to be caught squabbling like petty children. Minerva knew that they would have to set a better example in the future if they wanted to stop the fighting between their two Houses.  
"Has everything been settled with your students?" the elderly wizard asked.  
They both nodded with their eyes down, looking like two children who had been reprimanded.  
"Well, then, you may start moving the sixth years into Gryffindor Tower. After that is done, we will start on the fourth years."  
Once more, the only response he got was two nods.  
"You may go. And, Severus, Minerva, please try to set a good example. We need this to work so that Hogwarts can remain strong."  
  
"All my beautiful stuff! Where will it go?" Draco was yelling.  
Blaise looked up from packing his clothes and shrugged.  
"In the Gryffindor Tower, I suppose."  
"And let my hair care products be infected!? Never!"  
"So, you're going to stop using all those fancy hair sprays and stuff? It's about time," Blaise said.  
Draco's eyes lit up with feverish excitement. Blaise had a feeling that it was going to be another one of the smaller boy's insane moments.  
"That's it!"  
"That's what?"  
"The Gryffindors' master plan!"  
"And that would be?"  
"They're going to try to ruin my beautiful hair. All of this stuff about going to live with them is just so I'll be separated from my gels, sprays, volumizers, and extra-shine lotion!" Draco shrieked.  
Blaise nodded and smiled in an attempt to at least look sincere.  
"Yes, Draco, that makes perfect sense," he agreed.  
"And they call us evil! Horrible people, trying to spread bad hair throughout the wizarding world," Draco ranted in aggrieved tones.  
"So what are you going to do about it?" Theodore asked with a hidden smile.  
"What else? I'm taking all my stuff with me!"  
"You sure it'll fit, Draco?" Goyle inquired.  
"Hmm. Good point. Oh, well, I'll just throw out Potter's crap," he said gleefully.  
Blaise watched as the Slytherin prefect began to toss every imaginable product into his suitcase, which was already stuffed to the breaking point. He blinked as he caught the label on one bottle.  
"Flea repellant?" he couldn't help asking.  
Draco looked up, his silver-framed face a picture of innocence.  
"For the Weasel."  
"I don't think flea repellant will keep him away from you, Draco," Blaise pointed out.  
"No, that's just to keep his fleas away."  
"He has fleas?" Crabbe questioned ponderously.  
"Of course, all the Weasleys do. Hang out with all sorts of vile things, they do," Draco answered with a sneer.  
"Oh."  
Draco began to dig in his box of products until he found a tall, silver spray can. He held it up triumphantly and grinned.  
"This is to keep Weasel and Potter away."  
Blaise merely shook his head as he stared at the can of wizarding pepper spray. It was supposed to actually light its chosen victim on fire.  
"Draco, I'm sure they won't want to be around you either."  
"Well, I can't run the risk of them going mad at the sight of my beautiful body. Foul, loathsome creatures, trying to take advantage of me in my sleep."  
"You are just too psychotic," Pansy remarked from where she stood at the doorway.  
"Envious?" Draco asked with a charming smile.  
"Ach, hush, you. Now, get your little arse downstairs. Snape says it's time to go," she said.  
Blaise began humming the funeral march as they left the dormitory. Draco glared back at him once, but, couldn't help laughing. He stopped in the hallway, blocking the other boys.  
"Gentlemen, we may go to our deaths, but, it shall not be in vain. We shall make every day there living hell for Potter and his friends. Are we agreed?"  
"Agreed," they all chorused.  
"Onward, soldiers," Draco cried.  
Snape just shook his head as they entered the common room. The girls were already assembled and had all their suitcases lying beside them on the floor. Blaise found it amusing that none of them had more luggage than Draco.  
"Students, it's time to go. I know many of you are...less than happy about this turn of events, but, I'm counting on you to be on your best behavior. No matter what the Gryffindors do, act appropriately. Prove that you are better than them, if you must," he said gravely.  
"Don't worry, Professor, we'll behave just as well as we do for you," Draco answered.  
Snape's eyebrows rose at these words.  
"All right, better," Draco amended with a smirk.  
Snape nodded and motioned to the door. The students began to slowly file out, a few turning back to have one last look at their home.  
  
"Sir, will we be allowed to come back here during the day?"  
Snape considered it for a moment before he answered.  
"You're supposed to live in Gryffindor Tower, but, Dumbledore did not say you couldn't visit your own House. So, yes, you may."  
"Thank you, sir. I'll see you in Potions," Draco said with a sad smile and hurried out the door.  
As soon as he stepped into the hallway, Crabbe and Goyle wordlessly took his bags, and, the Slytherins began their long walk to their new residence.  
  
The Gryffindors were sitting disconsolately in the common room, their young faces full of gloom. Even Hermione was looking depressed as she contemplated the changes facing them. Harry and Ron were attempting to play a game of Exploding Snap, but, neither one of their minds was truly on it.  
  
"They'll be here soon," Harry said needlessly.  
"Yep."  
They lapsed into silence again, staring at their feet. After a few moments, they heard the portrait begin to swing open as the password was spoken. They all stood and walked toward the door, waiting for the Slytherins to come in.  
They climbed through the entry quickly, led by Malfoy. His silver- blonde hair stood out in the gloom, immediately catching Harry's eyes. When all the Slytherins were inside, the two groups of students merely stared at each on in," Hermione said hesitantly.  
"We're already in. We don't need an invitation from the likes of you," Pansy growled.  
"Hey, don't speak to her like that!" Ron yelled.  
"Close your mouth, Weasel. We'll fight later. Right now, we have luggage to unpack, so if you'd be so kind..."Draco hissed.  
Hermione forced a smile to her face and turned to Harry.  
"We'll show you to the dormitories," she said.  
Harry nodded and beckoned to the boys as the girls followed Hermione out of the room.  
  
A/N: I think I need a beta reader. Anyone want to volunteer? Did you like it? Yes, no, tell me! Don't make me cry! Reviewers shall be loved!

The next chapter should be ready by Monday or Tuesday. Sorry about the delay!


	3. Diaries, Photo Albums, and More Hair Spr...

Disclaimer: They're not mine.

Warnings: slash, silliness, major OOC

Dedication: This chapter is dedicated to my lovely beta readers, Zina (zina- aka-brat), who was kind enough to work with me even when she was having a hard time, Voyd, who gave me a great deal of assistance in my characterization of the Gryffindors, Seri-chan, who took the time to keep me from making stupid mistakes, and Brandy, who made me see stuff I hadn't even thought of! Thank you guys so much for all the tons of help!

A/N: I'm so sorry this took so long to get up, but, I had a whole ton of stuff I had to get done. Forgive me, angry people!

Tega: Ah, family members don't understand anything, and, of course, things shall be terrible in the tower.

Namida: Ah, Draco's just too silly. Glad you enjoyed and thanks for using the word witty. I love that word!

Wanna Huggle Edward Norton: I love your name, person! It's too wonderful! Also, I actually hate altoids. Weird, huh? Oooh, you've made me happy!

Nox1992: No need to beg. Just review and I write! Glad you liked it, my fellow crazy person. Emmacrazy: Here is more as requested!

Lady-Lillikens: Be careful when falling off chair. I do not want you hurt. Yes, Draco loves his hair, and thinks all others should as well. Maybe, he'll form a cult of hair worshippers or something. I'm glad you're still enjoying my ficcie!

AllAroundGold: First off, until recently, no one was sure if Blaise Zabini was male or female, but, JKR recently let slip he was a dude. I loved your story, very nice! See review for details! Also, everyone should be in love with Draco! Yay!

Seri-chan: Ah, I love you muchly, beta reader person! So your family thinks you're insane, just like mine. The insanity is spreading!

Jazzylady: Draco's such a coffee-obsessed freak, isn't he? It's okay about not being my beta, I think I now have plenty. So happy you've liked the story.

CMP12: Yes, Draco is certainly prone to doing silly things, but, I love him for it. Thanks for reviewing!

Brandy: My wonderful beta/proofreader, you have no idea how glad I am to have you. Rachie: Glad you think it's interesting!

Rinerz: Oh, you used the word brilliant! Yay! Glad you're enjoying my demented story! CRIMSONSKIE: You think it's funny? Huzzah! Much happiness from me!

LeggyLover: I heard brilliant again? Wonderful word, isn't it? Glad you liked. Moonymagnificent: The Slytherins are my pride and joy, glad you liked them. Hopefully, you'll like this chapter as well. Sheree: I loved the 'Draco is more of a girl than the girls are'. It's perfect!

Kt: Ah, my self-esteem raiser! Glad you're loving Draco, as all people should.

Zina: Yet another lovely beta! I'm so grateful to you for all you've done. So happy you like my story and thanks so much!

Hannah: Happiness! Glad you liked!

Voyd: Beta reader! Bad hair shall rule the world!

Padapadada: I'm so honored by your request, and, of course, you may! Thanks bunches!

Ryo Akuinenn: Yet another person who liked it! I'm so very pleased!  
  
And, remember, all of you, reviewers make me happy, and, when I'm happy I write more! So please review! Also, this is the very much revised second version. Thanks so much, Brandy!  
  
"This is a dormitory?" Draco asked, his lip curling with distaste.  
Harry looked around at the room, trying to discover what the Slytherin disliked about it. To him, it looked comfortable and nice, even if it was a bit cluttered with the addition of the five four poster beds for the Slytherins. Of course, it might have been a bit too unadorned for the spoiled Slytherin's taste, which was obviously quite excessive if judged by his bed, which was a splendid creation, complete with dark, draping velvet curtains to protect his privacy, and dark green silk sheets. Harry shook his head wonderingly at the senseless extravagance, and glanced over at his own plain bed with its unpresumptious linen.  
"Yes," he finally answered.  
"You're joking," Draco stated flatly.  
"Uh, no."  
Draco's eyes had widened in horror, and, he glanced wildly around the room. His mouth opened, but, for several seconds, nothing came out except a few shocked gasps and squeaks.  
"But, where...what?" he stammered.  
  
"Huh?" Harry said blankly.  
"Listen, you got a problem?!" Ron snarled, his temper already flaring up.  
"Well, yeah. This just won't work. I mean seriously, the very idea of it is appalling! It's tawdry, bland, and was obviously decorated by someone with no fashion sense! Did you even consider using a color scheme? " Draco ranted angrily.  
"Listen, Malfoy, why don't you just shut up about our home? We like it like this, and, it isn't going to change!" Harry asserted.  
"We'll see about that," Draco muttered mutinously.  
Blaise glanced around, taking in all the assorted decorations covering the wall. His brow was furrowed slightly in thought as he turned in a slow circle. A mischievous smile graced his face for a few moments as he turned back to the small group.  
"You know, Draco, we could always redecorate," he suggested.  
"Hmm. You may have an idea there. With the right fabrics, lace or velvet for the curtains, silk for the beds, a decent paint job...It'll be difficult job, but this place may be salvageable," Draco said thoughtfully as he inspected the room.  
He ran his hand across the mantle, grimacing at the thin layer of dust it disturbed.  
"Definitely, get the house elves working. This place is filthy," he said scathingly.  
"But redocorating's definitely the first step," Blaise added, as he walked around the room, pulling open the dressers' drawers carelessly. He wrinkled his nose as he came across a particularly odorous bunch of smelly socks.  
"You are not redecorating our dormitory!" Harry cried and slammed the drawer shut.  
"Yeah, we're not letting you put up all your dark arts crap and rotting skeletons!" Ron added, his face becoming as red as his hair.  
"Rotting skeletons?" Blaise laughed.  
"The boy's got an imagination on him. Rotting skeletons would never go with this color scheme," Draco said.  
"Huh?" Ron gasped, appalled.  
"I mean, all this gold and maroon drivel? Really, skeletons only work with more muted colors," Draco continued, unmindful of Ron's stare.  
"What?" Ron exclaimed.  
"Can you say anything with more than one syllable?" Blaise asked curiously.  
"Hey!" the angry Gryffindor yelled.  
"Obviously not."  
The two Slytherin boys continued their survey of the room as they walked around it. Occasionally, one would stop to get a closer look at something. Once they had toured the whole room, they paused in its center to discuss the matter.  
"So, what should we start out with?" Blaise asked.  
"Getting rid of these horrible Quidditch posters, of course."  
"Don't even think about touching them!" Ron whispered furiously.  
"I'm thinking. Try and stop me!" Draco taunted, walking over to one and beginning to untack it from the wall.  
"Those are ours!"Harry protested.  
"Which is why I'm tearing them down!"  
The four boys glared at each other furiously, none willing to back down. After a few minutes of prolonged eye contact, Draco and Blaise went back to critiquing the room. Ron stood before the Quidditch posters protectively with his arms folded across his chest, while Harry followed their unwelcome roommates. The two stopped in front of Dean's poster of the West Ham soccer team.  
"Sweaty men hugging each other? And people question Draco's orientation," Blaise said in disgust.  
"They just won a game!" Dean defended angrily.  
"Hmm. Not gay at all," Blaise remarked dryly.  
"Maybe we can leave that one up," Draco said, eyeing the picture speculatively.  
"Draco!" Blaise scolded.  
"Ah, shut up."  
Blaise stared at the picture for a second and shook his head.  
"I'm surprised. No naked chicks on the walls?" Blaise asked.  
"No!" Harry screamed, horrified.  
"Of course not. They're Gryffindors. A dirty thought has never sullied their pure minds," Draco remarked dryly.  
"No one wants to be reminded of what they aren't getting," Blaise said nastily.  
"You guys have naked chicks on your dormitory walls?" Ron questionned, his mind still occupied by that simple concept.  
Blaise merely smiled. Neville covered his face with his hands and dropped onto the bed.  
"Someone please make them go away," he begged.  
Draco grinned maliciously as he walked over to the bed.  
"No, sorry, Longbottom. We're here to stay."  
"Why does the world hate me?" Neville mused morosely.  
"Oh, that's easy. You're ugly," Draco answered quickly.  
Neville moved his hands from his face and glared up at Draco, who was trying his best to look innocent and truthful.  
"What! I am not...am I?" he exclaimed, his uncertainty gaining a quick hold of him.  
"Oh, yes, fearsomely unattractive. You'd frighten small children," Draco said, nodding brightly.  
"What's so bad about me? I mean, can I do anything about it?"  
Draco tapped his chin thoughtfully as he considered. He looked Neville up and down, and shook his head sadly.  
"Oh, not much. Maybe crawl off to some secluded place and die," he offered helpfully.  
"That's terrible!" Ron exclaimed, angry at the way his friend was being treated.  
"Yeah, why don't you just sod off, Malfoy?!" Harry yelled.  
"Just trying to make the world a happier place," Draco said with a smile.  
"You, trying to do good? Yeah, right," Ron scoffed.  
"Well, it'd make me happier."  
"Your happiness doesn't really reflect on the whole world's."  
"You've obviously never lived with him," Blaise said with a tired sigh.  
  
Hermione led the Slytherin girls up the stairs to the dormitory. Her face was drawn with worry as she realized how bad this situation was going to be. Beside her, Lavender and Parvati were were whispering together nervously, every once in a while glancing back at the grim-faced Slytherins behind them. Hermione swallowed nervously as they stopped at the sixth year's door. She opened it slowly, and allowed the other girls to go through before she entered.  
Pansy glanced around the room, noticing their beds, which had been placed in the dormitory just a few hours ago. The Slytherins' beds, like the Gryffindors, were covered in a soft lacy material of different colors, ranging from Pansy's green to Lavender's purple. There were several stacks of books on one dresser, and, a few posters hung on the walls. A stuffed unicorn sat on Lavender's bed, which made Millicent wince.  
"So, this is the girls' dormitory," Hermione said unnecessarily.  
"No kidding?" Pansy remarked.  
"Kind of cutesy, isn't it?" Millicent added.  
"Well, sorry. We can't all live in the dungeons," Lavender said bitingly.  
"Yeah, sucks to be a Gryffindor," Pansy muttered sarcastically.  
Lavender glared at her furiously, clenching her fists tightly.  
"Listen, we're going to have to live together. Can't we at least try to get along?" Hermione asked desperately.  
Pansy and Millicent looked at each other and shrugged.  
"Have you ever had sex with the Weasel?" Millicent asked curiously.  
Pansy rolled her eyes at the slower girl's bluntness, wishing Millicent had used a bit more tact or finesse. There were just some things that shouldn't be spoken of, and, anything that included the Weasel was immediately placed in that category.  
"What?! No!" Hermione cried, shocked at the blunt words.  
"Ever?" Millicent prodded.  
"No!"  
"Do you want to?"  
"Uh...that's none of your business!" Hermione hedged angrily, a rosy blush staining her cheeks.  
"Touchy, isn't she?" Millicent asked blithely.  
  
Harry watched curiously as the five Slytherin boys unpacked. He kept waiting to see some obvious sign of their evilness, but, so far, all he had seen was a lot of bottles and jars coming out of Malfoy's bags.  
"What is all this stuff?" he asked.  
Draco didn't bother to look up as he carefully set the delicate bottles down on the dresser. He took special care with a tall, green one made of finely wrought glass, making sure it was placed well away from the edge of the dresser. He pulled a few small, fat ones out of the bag and put them beside the bigger bottle.  
"Hair care, Potter. Something you obviously don't know anything about," he said dryly.  
Harry self-consciously put a hand to his hair and tried to pat it into a more presentable shape.  
"No one needs this much crap," he muttered.  
"I do. Now, either shut up or bugger off," Draco snarled nastily.  
"Why do you have to be such a pain in the arse, Malfoy?"  
"I signed a contract. Stunning good looks, in exchange for my soul," Draco said casually.  
Harry glared at the other boy, upset by his flippant attitude on such a serious subject.  
"That's not funny."  
"And who says you're good looking?"Ron added.  
"Or have a soul for that matter?" Neville whispered in a low undertone, which provoked a harshly muffled laugh from Harry.  
Draco finally looked up, shaking his head at Ron's words.  
"Hmm. Let me think. Everyone! The angels themselves sing whenever I enter a room!"  
"You have a pretty high opinion of yourself," Seamus muttered.  
"Can you blame me?" Draco said with a charming smile.  
The room became very quiet as Draco rummaged through his bag. Eventually, he pulled out a large spray can, which he sat beside him. Ron picked it up and inspected it curiously. He sat down on the bed, making sure he was out of Draco's arm length.  
"What's this? Pepper spray?"  
Draco snatched the container away and put it on the dresser out of Ron's reach.  
"Keep your paws off me, Weasel, or I'll use it on you," he threatened.  
"Like I'd want to be anywhere near you," Ron snorted derisively.  
"Well, I don't know, you're sitting pretty close," Draco pointed out.  
  
Ron immediately leapt away and ran to the other side of the room. Draco smiled, pleased, and went back to work.  
"Much better," he said happily.  
  
"What the hell is this?" Pansy asked, staring at the notebook, which she had found lying on the dresser beside Hermione's bed. It was black and decorated with small stars and constellations.  
Hermione reached out for it, but, the Slytherin girl pulled it out of her reach.  
"It's my diary. Please put it down," Hermione pleaded.  
"A diary? How...cute," Pansy muttered, staring at it with a look of revulsion. She wasn't sure she wanted to think of what it might hold or what horrible Weasel-filled fantasies might lurk within its pages.  
"What, don't you keep one?" Lavender asked curiously.  
Pansy stared at her while shaking her head slowly.  
"I'm a Slytherin," she stated bluntly.  
"So?"  
She rolled her eyes expressively, displeased at their ignorance.  
"We know better than to leave such incriminating evidence where anyone could find it."  
"What? Evidence!?" Lavender and Parvati cried..  
"Yeah, these things can do a lot of harm in a murder case," Pansy explained seriously.  
"Murder case?" they chorused, their eyes wide open.  
"What are you guys, parrots? Yes, a murder case," Pansy snapped.  
"Umm...Do you have any reason to be suspected for murder?" Hermione asked nervously as she moved farther away from the other girl  
"Not yet."  
"Oh..good...I think," Hermione said uncertainly.  
"So, what all do you have in here? Fantasies about the Weasel?" Pansy asked, trying to pick the lock with a hair pin, since it was protected against spells.  
"No! And stop calling him that!" Hermione exclaimed and snatched the diary from the girl's hands.  
"Whatever," Pansy grumbled as she rubbed her hands tenderly.  
  
Draco was looking through the photo album on Potter's dresser, his attention fixed on the moving figures. He quickly flipped past the ones that focused on Harry's immediate family, moving to people who were of more interest to him.  
"Hey, leave that alone!"Harry ordered when he saw the Slytherin looking through the treasured album.  
"This your family, Potter?" Draco inquired.  
"Yeah, so, get your nasty hands off it!" the other boy shouted.  
"No need to be rude," Draco said in an injured tone.  
"There is plenty of need. You're-"  
"Did you hear that, Blaise? Potter needs me," Draco interrupted with a smirk.  
"That wasn't what I meant!" Harry protested, while Blaise smothered a laugh.  
"Still trying to deny your attraction to me?" Draco purred.  
"What?! You're sick!" Harry exclaimed and stalked over to where Dean and Seamus were sitting.  
Blaise nodded in agreement, and walked over to Draco, who was still perusing the old photos. The blonde boy stopped on one page, glancing curiously at a group photo of some of the Potters' friends. They were all waving and laughing, but, at first, Blaise couldn't discover what Draco was so enthralled by.  
"He's hot," Draco stated.  
Ron walked over and stared at the picture, immediately catching sight of a younger Sirius Black. Blaise just shook his head and walked away.  
"He's a guy!" Ron protested.  
"Yes, I'd rather noticed."  
"But, you said he's hot," Ron vocalized in an urgent tone.  
"And, he is," Draco said soothingly.  
"But..guy!?" Ron squeaked.  
"Who is hot," Draco supplied.  
"Male guy!?"  
"Yes, male as in not female, a guy, I get it," Draco snarled impatiently.  
"Then why'd you say he's hot?" Ron asked desperately.  
"He is!" Draco yelled, his patience running thin.  
"But!" Ron persisted.  
"I give up," Draco announced as he dropped the album and walked across the room to join Blaise, who had retreated to sit on another bed. The other boy looked up as he approached, and shook his head reprovingly.  
"Draco, you're scaring the Gryffindors," he admonished.  
"Really? And I wasn't even trying," Draco said, preening slightly.  
"Well, it worked," Blaise muttered with a glance at the five Gryffindor boys.  
Neville was crouched behind Dean and Seamus, trying to hide from Draco's discerning eyes. Ron was talking with Harry in nearly hysterical tones, and glancing at Draco frequently. Draco smiled unpleasantly, which startled Neville into flight. The overwhelmed boy ran down the stairs to the common room faster than Draco had thought possible. The other boys retreated farther into the corner, suspicion and distrust bright in their eyes.  
"Ah, look! They're cowering in fear. Why don't you ever cower in fear?" Draco asked Blaise.  
"I don't know."  
"You should cower in fear. Cower in fear, weak one!" Draco ordered imperiously.  
Blaise sighed in annoyance, but shrugged. He had long since realized the futility of fighting with the spoiled boy.  
"All right, all right. I'll cower."  
Draco watched him closely as he sat on the edge of the bed, unmoving.  
"Are you cowering?" he asked curiously.  
"Yes, Draco, I'm cowering."  
"Are you sure? You don't look like you're cowering," Draco pointed out petulantly.  
"I'm cowering, damn it! Leave me alone," Blaise growled in frustration.  
"If you were cowering, you wouldn't curse at me," Draco protested.  
"I'm sorry. What should I do?" Blaise said in carefully controlled tones.  
"Begging for mercy would be nice."  
"I'm not begging. Go bother the Gryffindors and leave me alone," Blaise objected.  
"Not until you beg."  
"You are such a brat," Blaise muttered crossly.  
"And?" Draco prodded with a pleased smirk.  
"Please, please, please leave me alone. Happy?"  
"We really need to work on your begging but, I guess, it'll do for now."  
"Forgive me, O Magnificent One."  
"Getting better."  
  
The four remaining Gryffindor boys sat together moodily, their eyes unerringly fixed on the Slytherins, who were working on setting up Draco's vanity dresser. It was a monstrous affair, complete with a huge mirror and plenty of shelves for his accessories. Of course, Crabbe and Goyle were doing most of the work, while Draco reclined on the bed and ordered them about.  
"What are we going to do, Harry? They're insane!" Ron yelped.  
"Insane may not be a strong enough word for them," Dean muttered.  
"Well, mad, insane, psychotic, whatever, we can't live with them!" Ron replied wildly, his face still flushed with anger.  
"I know, but, what are we going to do?" Harry asked.  
"Hermione would know," Ron said.  
"Well, we can't go get her. We'll just have to wait until she's finished showing the girls around," Harry reminded him.  
They sat gloomily for several minutes as they considered Hermione's situation.  
"Do you think they're as bad as the boys?" Ron asked.  
Harry took his glasses off and cleaned them as he answered.  
"Hmm. Pansy vs. Draco. Close match."  
"Poor Hermione."  
"We're not so fortunate, either. I mean, look at them!" Seamus said, pointing at the Slytherins with one hand. As they watched, Draco and Blaise proceeded to throw all sorts of bottles at Crabbe and Goyle at rates that were nearly impossible to catch. The two hulking boys did their best, and calmly picked up the bottles which had hit the floor.  
"Why would Dumbledore do this to us?" Ron gulped.  
"I don't know. Maybe, he really does think we can learn to get along," Harry answered dubiously.  
"Fat chance, that!" scoffed Seamus.  
"Yeah, it does seem pretty unlikely," Dean agreed.  
"He could have let the Hufflepuffs or the Ravenclaws come here. Why did it have to be the Slytherins?"  
"Well, our Houses are the ones with the most conflicts. It'd make sense to put us together," Harry reasoned.  
"Doesn't mean we have to like it," Ron said.  
"And, I'm pretty sure we won't," Harry said as he watched their new roommates.  
  
The respective heads of Slytherin and Gryffindor were sitting together in an unoccupied classroom, discussing the current situation. McGonagall looked more stressed and tired, and, the gray in her hair seemed more noticeable. She rubbed at her temples, trying to ease the aching pain in her head. Snape impatiently sat before her, his sallow skin looking even paler than usual. The moving hadn't been easy on him, either.  
"Are the students settling in okay?" he finally asked as the silence dragged on.  
"Well, that's an interesting question," McGonagall stalled.  
"Which you're planning on answering immediately," Snape insisted.  
"All right, all right."  
After she spoke, she went quiet again, thinking over the day's events. Snape impatiently tapped his fingers against the table as he waited.  
"And?" he asked.  
"I'm getting to it!" she protested.  
"Faster, please," he cajoled angrily.  
"Okay, no one's dead-" she began.  
"How surprising," he interrupted dryly.  
"Do you want to hear this?" she snapped.  
"Fine, do continue."  
"There has been no physical fighting, though there were a few verbal disputes. Neville Longbottom has retreated to the common room and refuses to be in the same dormitory as the Slytherins. Mr. Malfoy seems to have scared him."  
"Ah, that's won...I mean, terrible," he amended.  
McGonagall looked at him closely, and shook her head reproachfully at his obvious insincerity.  
"I think I'll be able to convince him to return, as long as the Slytherins behave," she added.  
"My students always behave."  
McGonagall stared at him with disbelief, almost laughing.  
"Severus, even you aren't that biased!" she exclaimed.  
"So what if they're a bit over enthusiastic?" he said defensively.  
"What a clever way of putting it," she conceded sarcastically.  
Snape smirked and nodded graciously, even as she rolled her eyes.  
"I thought so."  
For a few more moments, they sat in silence. The emptiness of the room seemed to stretch before them, and, idly, McGonagall wondered if it had ever been used. In her years at Hogwarts, it had always remained empty, home to only dust and spider webs.  
"I guess we can tell Dumbledore to start moving the fourth years," she said after a while.  
"Indeed," he answered simply.  
She raised an eyebrow at his lack of enthusiasm, which he refused to acknowledge.  
"You don't look too excited," she observed.  
"Ravenclaws are unbearable know-it-all's. Why should I be excited?" he said with a distasteful grimace.  
She sighed softly as she looked around the room, seeing the tattered old House banners decorating the walls, hanging together, not apart. It sent a shiver down her spine, as she wondered if the students could ever be so united.  
"You ever think that we're behind some of our Houses' fighting?" she asked thoughtfully.  
Snape followed her gaze to the banners and stared at them for a long time. When he spoke, his voice had lost its usual nasty tone, and was soft, almost gentle.  
"Of course we are, just like their parents. They've learned to hate from us," he mused.  
She rested her head on her hands, her eyes weary and disheartened.  
"I wish...I wish that we could have taught them something better."  
"There may still be time. This foolish scheme might even work," he answered dubiously.  
"I hope so," whispered she.  
  
A/N: What do you think? Review and tell me please!


	4. Dinner, Coffee, and Monks

Chapter: 4

Disclaimer: They're not mine.

Author's Note: Forgive me, o readers, for I am lower than low! It's been so long since I've updated here, and I'm incredibly sorry. Life's busy. Just so you guys know, I post the most recent chapters of this story on my livejournal first. This chapter's been posted there for several weeks. heh heh....Sorry. So, if you are going crazy waiting, I recommend you go check out my livejournal and see if I've posted anything there. If I haven't, you're welcome to complain to me there, as well. My lj name is the same as my ff. net name and the link is on my bio page thingie.

As for you lovely reviewers:

DarthRoden: There is more now! Glad you like!

Katokatt: Took me long enough, but I've updated! pets Begging always gets to me....

AllAroundGold: I'm so glad you're still liking my story! Makes me all happy.

Elebereth: I should stop torturing Neville and the Gryffs. But, I probably won't.

kt: Ah, that's awesome! I'm always forcing my friends to read stuff, too. lol.

bajs: Draco must be cute. I believe that should be a law. Glad you like!

Shinigamideathgirl: Yeah, I have serious issues with this story. Normally, in my serious works I have more description, but obviously this is a bit silly. My beta, Brandy, has to force me to use description more all the time... But, glad you like the slytherins! Draco's my precious!

lady of the mist: Why, yes, this is slash and Harry and Draco will eventually get together. Not sure when...

YummyEdwardNorton: Squee! I love him! By the way, has your name changed??? I thought is was something different...I'm confused.

overXposed: Posh! That's a fun word! I didn't post soon, but I did post.

Sheree: Prissy gryffies! lol. Always more Slytherins and Draco!

Catmint: Thanks so much! I've never thought of myself as very humorous....

the 100 original BLAH: Thanks!

Lady Lillikens: Hmm, I think you're probably back now. It's definitely been more than 10 days. I've been very bad about updating. Still alive, I hope? Forgive? Oooh, and, the whole chair idea was smart! lol.

Also, I've had major issues with this chapter. It still needs work, but I needed to post something so you people wouldn't think I'd disappeared forever. The fifth chapter, which I'm now working on, was originally just another part of this chapter, but I had to cut it out because this chappy was getting kind of long. I try to keep each chapter around 3,000 words.

This chapter is dedicated to my amazing betas, Seri-chan and Brandy. Without them, I'd be lost.

Hermione sat on her bed quietly, her attention occupied by the the pages of the textbook on her lap, though it wasn't all that interesting. It was infinitely preferable to watching the antics of the Slytherin girls, who were talking animatedly on Pansy's bed. Millicent was leaning against the headboard, as Pansy spoke, and occasionally laughing at some witty comment. Hermione wasn't too sure what they were speaking of, but, she was certain she didn't want to know. In all likelihood, it would be something unbearably vulgar.

She was grateful the day was almost over, and, soon, they would go down to the great hall for a late meal, since dinner had been postponed for the moving students until several hours later than normal. At least then, she would have a chance to compare notes with the boys. For their sakes, she hoped they were having a better time. She sighed softly and pressed her hand against her forehead. It was getting difficult for her to concentrate, and, the whispers from Parvati and Lavender didn't help in the least. The two girls were fascinated by their Slytherin roommates and had been watching them all day with remarkable fervor. Hermione thought it was all quite disgusting.

A loud laugh from Millicent attracted Hermione's attention, and, she glanced in the other girl's direction. Pansy and Millicent immediately sank into subdued silence, trying their best to look innocent. She didn't look away, and, after a few moments, Pansy smirked and began whispering to Millicent. Hermione stood up, furious, and stalked out of the room, leaving her book lying open on her bed. Maybe she would be able to find some peace in the common room.

She strode through the hall quickly, oblivious to the whispers from the few portraits decorating the wall. A particularly vivid one of an ancient witch snickered as Hermione went past, and began to laugh from behind her black lace veil. Hermione didn't let herself be bothered, and quickly ran down the flight of stairs leading to the common room. As she did so, she counted the steps in a useless attempt to calm herself.

She walked through the arching doorway into the well-lit common room. At first, she thought it was empty, but, after a few moments, she noticed another figure slumped in one of the large, overstuffed armchairs. He was resting his head on his hands, and, his short brown hair fell in his face, obscuring his eyes. Hermione smiled at the sight of him, and walked over to the chair next to him. She sat down and tapped his arm. He nearly jumped out of his skin at faint touch, but, quickly calmed down as he saw her.

"Oh, Hermione, you scared me," Neville said in slightly breathless voice.

"Sorry, Neville. What are you doing down here?" she asked curiously.

"Trying to keep away from the Slytherins," he admitted sheepishly, looking down at his hands to avoid her eyes.

"Exactly what I'm doing. Are the boys that bad?" she questioned.

He glanced back up, obviously relieved that he wasn't the only one overwhelmed by the new additions to Gryffindor Tower.

"They're terrible, Hermione. Just terrible," he declared emphatically.

"Same with the girls," she said and leant back against the chair.

"Professor McGonagall came to talk with me earlier about it. She said we had to try, but, it's so hard!"

"I know."

They both lapsed into silence as they considered any possible alternatives. Neville visibly drooped when he realized no sudden idea was going to come from Hermione. The quiet in the room continued to drag on, until the portrait hole slowly swung open. Professor McGonagall stepped into the room, and glanced around. When she spotted the two students, she walked over to them.

"It's time for dinner. Please tell the rest of the students," she said, patting Neville's shoulder reassuringly.

"Yes, Professor!" they both said, leaping to their feet and heading to the stairs of their respective dormitories.

McGonagall shook her head, a fond smile gracing her lips, and turned to exit the common room.

"""" """""""""""""""""""""""""""""(change in scene thing)

Harry, Ron, Dean, and Seamus stared in horror at Draco, who was working on painting the Slytherins' half of the room. Of course, he was merely using spells to create the necessary colors, and made Crabbe and Goyle do all the actual manual work of painting. Occasionally, he would use his wand to paint one of the harder to reach spots, but, other than that, he was reclining at his ease on his bed. Every few minutes, he would change his mind about the color, and transform it into another shade, which created an odd mismatched look.

"I'm calm. I'm calm," Dean chanted.

Draco glanced over his shoulder and flicked a glob of light green paint at the boy. It landed on his robes, creating a terrible stain.

"Stop the chanting. You're not a monk," he snapped.

Dean stared down at his besmirched clothes and clenched his fists. Seamus laid a restraining hand on his friend, and glared at Malfoy furiously.

"You know what a monk is?" Harry asked, shocked.

Malfoy nodded, whilst waving the paint smeared wand at them. Ron made as if he would snatch it, but, the blonde boy swept it away with a flourish. He smirked over his shoulder at the fuming red-head.

"For your information, it's not a completely muggle occupation. My dad wanted to be a monk," Draco answered.

For a long moment, the room was completely silent. Even Blaise had turned from putting up the curtains to stare at Draco.

"Your dad?" Ron squeaked.

"Lucius Malfoy?" exclaimed Harry.

"A monk!?" Seamus cried.

"Once again with the hearing problems," Draco muttered with an elaborate sigh.

"It's just...shocking," Harry said weakly.

"So's the sight of your face or the number of Weasley children, but, you don't hear me going on about it continuously," Draco snapped.

Blaise turned to Draco again, and shook his head ruefully.

"Actually, we do," he pointed out.

"Oh, yeah," Draco said and shrugged nonchalantly.

Harry and Ron both glanced at each other, then back to the pale Slytherin. Harry hesitated for a moment, but opened his mouth to speak.

"Umm...why'd your dad want to be a monk?" he asked, while fidgeting with his glasses, which kept falling down his nose.

"Oh, something about taking over the order from the inside and becoming the supreme ruler of all monks. He gave up on it pretty early," Draco said casually.

This charming conversation was interrupted by the sudden opening of the door. The nine boys started and turned to face the intruder as one. Standing at the door was Neville, who was looking slightly pale at the concentrated attention of so many Slytherins. He swallowed nervously as he stepped through the doorway, sidling over to stand closer to the Gryffindors.

"Back so soon, Longbottom?" Blaise asked with a mean smile.

The nervous boy didn't answer, and, instead, turned to Harry, who smiled encouragingly. Draco rolled his eyes at the sickening display and collapsed backwards on his bed, arms flung out in exasperation.

"Professor McGonagall said we're to go to dinner," he told Harry, studiously keeping his eyes from meeting the irritable Slytherin's, though he couldn't help glancing around at the odd paint job.

"Finally. I'm starving," Ron complained.

"What, Weasley, your mum doesn't have the money to feed you?" Draco said snidely.

"Shut up, Malfoy!" Ron yelled, lunging at the haughty boy.

Harry grabbed a hold of his friend's sleeve, stopping his impulsive attack. Ron swerved around to glare at Harry, but, grudgingly relaxed. Draco had moved over to the dresser and was running a comb through his fine, silky hair. After a few strokes, he glanced at it in the mirror, shook his head, and grabbed a bottle of hairspray, which he began to liberally douse his hair in. A cloud of mist swam around his head, causing a few of the Gryffindors to begin to cough. The Slytherins seemed accustomed to the vapors and merely shook their heads in annoyance.

"Come on, Draco. Let's go," Blaise cajoled.

"All right, fine. At least we don't have to eat with them."

He paused for a moment and glanced around the room. He wrinkled his nose in disgust, and waved his wand. With a quick word, the paint disappeared from the walls, leaving them bare and plain.

"That really looked horrible," Draco said calmly and began to descend the stairs.

As soon as they were out of sight, the Gryffindors breathed a sigh of relief in unison. Harry patted Neville's arm reassuringly, and, they, too, headed down the staircase.

Draco stepped into the common room, and noticed Pansy and the girls already waiting for them by the entrance. He plastered his most charming smile across his face, and stroke across the room to join them, though he did pause a moment to sneer at Lavender and Parvati, who were giggling by the large, brick fireplace. They immediately fell into silence, and glared at the Slytherin boy as he joined his companions.

"What took you so long?" Pansy asked crossly, rubbing her neck wearily.

"He had to fix his hair," Blaise informed her.

"Of course," she muttered, not surprised.

Draco glanced up from his inspection of his robes, affronted, and assumed a look of injured dignity, which failed to fool his companions.

"Just because I am accustomed to looking my best, and find it unacceptable-"

"Can we just go eat?" Crabbe interrupted unwittingly, earning himself an angry glare from his sulking leader.

"Yes, let's go," Pansy agreed.

Draco pouted for a moment longer, but, finally, stalked ahead of them to the portrait hole. It swung open amenably, and, he hopped through, followed by his companions at a more leisurely pace. He continued to walk ahead of them until he reached the staircase, where he was forced to stand closer to them by the crowds of students rushing down to the great hall. Though he refused to look at him, Pansy was sure he wasn't angry, but, merely being his histrionic self.

It took them longer than expected to reach the dining hall, due to the overwhelming hordes of students pushing everyone aside in a desperate search for food. Draco remained unbothered by the seething mob of students since Crabbe and Goyle acted as human shields against the onslaught. After a long and tiring walk, they finally reached the hall, where they immediately moved to join their fellow house members at their old familiar table.

As they sat down, the younger students remained silent, obviously attuned to the foul moods of their elders. Draco immediately grabbed the coffee pot that was waiting for him, and poured himself a steaming glass.

"Draco, that's going to keep you awake all night," Pansy remonstrated.

He paused between desperate gulps and, with a smile, nodded.

"That's the whole point. I'm not sleeping with those Gryffindor delinquents around me," he explained.

"You're going to have an interesting night," Pansy said to Blaise, patting his hand sympathetically.

Draco seemed to be oblivious to their continuing conversation as he stared over at the Gryffindor table. Harry and Ron were chatting animatedly to Hermione, and, by the constant touches to their hair, they were giving a fairly accurate imitation of Draco himself. The pale Slytherin scowled furiously and folded his arms across his chest.

"Ooh, look at Potter, trying to be so cool. Does he think anyone cares?" he snarled.

Pansy looked up from her plate, which she had liberally piled with food, and glanced over at the Gryffindor table.

"Well, you do, obviously," she pointed out.

"I do not care! I am completely unaffected by whatever that horrible prat does!" Draco shrieked, raising his hands to his face in appalled shock.

Blaise merely shook his head in disbelief, and snatched the coffee pot before Draco could steal it away again. He poured himself a cup and, then, placed it on the other side of the table in a rather pointless attempt to keep it away from the already wired blonde.

"So that's why you stare at him nonstop?" Pansy asked with a sweet smile.

Draco looked at her crossly, leaned over the table, almost knocking over the basket of rolls, and grabbed the coffee pot. After refreshing the contents of his cup, he placed it beside him again, keeping a watchful eye on Blaise.

"No, that's to make fun of the stupid things he does," Draco answered while sipping at his fresh cup of coffee.

"So, you care about the stupid things he does?" Pansy questioned.

"No! They mean nothing to me!" Draco exclaimed, his eyes darting nervously.

"Admit it, Draco! You're addicted to Potter's inadequacy!" Pansy cried, triumphant.

Draco covered his ears with his hands, though he still made sure not to muss his hair.

"Lies, lies, all lies!" he wailed dramatically.

Pansy shook her head in mock sadness, and placed a comforting hand on Draco's shoulder. He shook it off and glared at her.

"You, my twitchy little princeling, have a problem," Pansy stated.

Blaise nodded his agreement, for which he received an equally nasty glare from the pale boy.

"And, the first step in working past it is admitting to it," Blaise put in.

Pansy and Blaise both looked at each other for a moment, their brows identically furrowed in thought.

"This seems rather familiar, don't you think?" Pansy asked him curiously.

"Like the coffee intervention speech, right?" said Blaise, nodding.

Pansy picked up a piece of bread and munched on it as she considered.

"And, how did that end?" she inquired.

Draco smiled brightly at the two, and sipped his coffee.

"I hexed you so that everything but coffee made you violently ill, so you could truly appreciate its beauty. A stroke of genius on my part, I believe," he happily reminded them, beaming with pride.

Pansy grabbed Blaise's arm, and pulled him out of his seat. She led him a few feet away from the table, watching Draco cautiously.

"Maybe we should let him have this little addiction," Pansy said.

"For our own safety, I think you may be right," Blaise agreed, following her gaze.

They both nodded simultaneously and walked back to the table. Draco looked up at them as they approached, but, waited for them to speak in a rare show of patience.

"Draco, we were wrong. You don't have any sort of obsession with Harry Potter," Pansy said through gritted teeth.

Draco accepted it easily, and nodded.

"Glad you came to your senses," he said, taking a sip of coffee, and going back to watching the Gryffindor table, "What is that fool doing to his hair?!"

Pansy decided judiciously not to comment on this, but, began to eat her meal. Draco continued staring at the Gryffindors for several minutes, occasionally taking a bite of food from Blaise's plate. He seemed rather distracted, a circumstance that Pansy found rather unnerving.

"I think we should make it our duty to shock the Gryffindors as much as possible," he finally said.

Pansy nibbled on a pastry idly, as she turned to Draco, who hadn't taken his eyes off their new roommates.

"Shouldn't be hard," Blaise said in a bored tone.

"But why?" Pansy asked, unwilling to accept his words at face value. She understood why he'd want to upset the Gryffindors, but, it wasn't as if there normal behavior wouldn't easily accomplish that goal.

"Is taxing their puny little brains not a good enough reason?" Draco questioned petulantly, grabbing the remaining pastry from her plate.

She glared at him and attempted to snatch it back, but, he deftly managed to avoid her grasping hands.

"Well..." Blaise began hesitatingly in answer.

Draco waved him into silence while nibbling on the pastry. He grinned smugly at Pansy, who merely sighed with a long-suffering expression.

"Alright, listen. We're stuck living with them, and, I, for one, don't want them to be spreading unwholesome rumors about us," Draco said.

"Rumors, such as..." Pansy prodded.

"You know, stuff that would hurt our reputations," Draco attempted to clarify.

Pansy tapped her fingers against the table impatiently. Blaise kept silent and stared at his friend's hands as they drummed against the surface.

"Give us an example, will you?" she snapped.

"They might start saying we're not as evil as everyone thinks," Draco answered flatly.

Pansy blinked twice and stared at the boy. She seriously doubted if there was anything the Slytherins could do that would convince the Gryffindors that their enemies weren't malevolent, evil creatures sent to make their lives miserable.

"Why would they say that?" she asked blankly.

"There are things that might lead them to that conclusion," Draco answered evasively.

Pansy let out her breath in a fit of exasperation, and clutched her fork tightly in her hand.

"Like what, Draco!?" she nearly yelled.

Draco raised an eyebrow at her sudden outburst, and gave her a pastry in an attempt at placating her.

"Crabbe's pet bunny for one thing," he supplied.

Crabbe glanced up as his name was spoken, but, after listening, merely went back to his meal, uninterested. Pansy shook her head, speechless. As she became unresponsive, Blaise decided to finally speak.

"I'm not sure that's a pet, Draco. I thought he was going to eat it. Besides, it isn't even here," Blaise reminded him, glancing over at the hulking boy, who was still paying no mind to their words.

"He keeps pictures of it by his bedside, which doesn't sound like the way you'd treat a light snack," Draco answered.

"Maybe..." Blaise said, unconvinced.

"Well, what do you want us to do, Draco?" Pansy acquiesced, unwilling to argue any longer.

"Be the evilest, worst possible person you can be. Be vulgar, crude, mean, spiteful, venomous, cruel, the works," Draco explained simply.

"Shouldn't be too hard," Blaise said with a shrug.

"Not as long as you follow my example," answered Draco.

Theodore Nott glanced up from his meal, and nervously cleared his throat. Draco turned to look at him irritably, obviously wondering what the quiet boy could want.

"You know, it might be okay if they think we're nicer. It'd make living here easier, at least," Theodore volunteered nervously.

Pansy winced as she waited for the imminent explosion from Draco.

"You traitor! How dare you? Someone hurt him, please?" Draco screeched.

Crabbe and Goyle looked up from their meals and cracked their knuckles threateningly.

"You want us to act nice? That's sickening," Blaise said in disgust.

"It was just a suggestion," Theodore muttered defensively.

"And not a very good one," Draco retorted.

"Is that all, Draco?" Pansy asked impatiently, interrupting his furious tirade.

"Almost. I also needed some coffee," he said imperiously, glancing down to the end of the table, where an untouched pot sat, and back to his own empty one.

"And, why can't you get it yourself?" she asked, obviously annoyed.

"Do we have to go over the whole manual labor doesn't agree with me thing again, Pansy?" Draco answered with a smile.

"Spoiled does not even begin to describe you," she hissed.

"Yeah, he thinks he's a real princess, all right," Blaise agreed, hiding a smile behind his hand.

"Mind your tongue, O Miserable Creature," Draco ordered.

"Yes, My Lady," Pansy said sweetly.

"This is the reason I hate you guys," Draco muttered with a sigh.

Pansy stood up, smiling, and patted Draco's hand. She walked to the end of the table and picked up the pot. As she returned to her seat, she handed the hot container to the blonde boy. He grinned, pleased, and poured himself a fresh cup.

A/N: Well? Was is terrible? Review and I shall be happy! Oh, and I am going to get around to clearing up the Slytherin dinner party mystery thingie sometime soon.


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